Analysis of week 14 Bears/Vikings' broadcast

I had a Christmas party to attend tonight so I didn't get to watch one minute of the game. If anyone wants to post an analysis of the broadcast you can drop me an email at essequamvideri7@gmail.com.

If You Wish Upon a Star...

Here's an article that, although I doubt it's validity, gives me hope.

Has Kornheiser Already Had Enough of This MNF Business?

I think Tony likes the spotlight a little too much as he seems to think HE is MNF. (based on his post PTI comments the last two weeks)

But one can dream...

Analysis of week 13 Falcons/Saints' broadcast

Ever heard the saying "ignorance is bliss"? Well, there are times I wish I had never started this site so I could just ignore the broadcast. Last night is a prime example of why I would want to hit the mute button like so many of you say you do.

For starters I knew Bush and Vick were going to get the royal treatment, last night, but I had no idea they would get THAT much coverage. Tell me, have you ever seen a player get more closeups on the sidelines in street clothes than Bush?

As always, for me, the broadcast's biggest shortcoming is their unwavering commitment to fill every possible second with inane chatter. Do we need to hear about Dunn meeting his mother's murder and the constraint he showed by not jumping over the table and attacking him? Do we need the story to run between play after play? Doesn't ESPN realize that with their new approach of not talking over plays they are making it worse by ignoring the plays as though they never happened?!

I have never seen a broadcast team more devoted to depressing the hell out of people! It makes me want to change the channel Elvis style. (bang!)

Terrible Quote of the Night

Jaws: "Location, location, location. I sound like a real estate agent don't I?"
Tony: "Actually, yes!"
Followed by Jaws and Tony's insufferable laughter - likely the only people in America laughing at their stupidity.

As the broadcast has progressed Jaws has become that distant relative or acquaintance we all have who tells terrible jokes and then follows it up with their own laughter (as though that makes what they said funny).

Shake Your Head Moment

He did it AGAIN! After another useless PTI Michael Wilbon, Tony's PTI partner, introduced the second half and Tony arrogantly replied "and more of me" for the second time in two weeks.

I have tried to keep my criticisms on this site pretty clean but if Tony says that one more time I just can't promise that will continue.

Week 13 Falcons\Saints Preview

It's hard to be too excited about tonight's game. In fact, I am sure it will be hard to sit through it's entirety.

At the same time there is a lot of bulletin board material for Tony and the boys to over-emphasize and blow way out of proportion. (Vick and Bush come to mind)

I am a little curious about how they'll make this game palatable. My guess is since they can't even make good games worth watching that this broadcast will make viewers feel like they have a sickness somewhere between having the flu and being in a coma. (Given the choice I'd take the coma!).

Fresh off their rating's victory last week it will be an eye opening night for ESPN execs when they realize no one is watching the game but me. (and I will be doing it in similar fashion to Alex de Large in A Clockwork Orange)

See ya all tomorrow!

See How a Game Should Be Called!

A few weeks ago I commented on the Sunday Night Football game between the Patriots and the Eagles. I mentioned how it was nice to watch a game that was actually about the game!

Well, thank goodness, THE GAME of this weekend, the Patriots/Steelers, is a late game on CBS this Sunday and is being called by my personal favorite NFL broadcast team: Jim Nantz and Phil Simms. If you watch the game, and what football fan wouldn't, please take note how refreshing the broadcast will be. This is how football is supposed to be called.

You may have all heard that last week's Monday Night Game had the largest cable audience in history (see that article here) but it really saddens me that ESPN will claim this victory even though their broadcast sucks and trained monkeys could have run (and called) the broadcast and it still would have received the same ratings.

It wasn't you ESPN!!! It was the Patriots!!!!

And Tony.... oh Tony... It sure wasn't you even though every PTI you always say to your PTI co-host how we get to sit back and watch more of you.

WE ARE NOT WATCHING YOU TONY!!!!

(not on purpose anyway)

Anyways, enjoy the game!

Analysis of week 13 Patriots/Ravens' broadcast

This was a hard broadcast for me to critique. I found myself too interested in the game to pay much attention to what was going on in the booth. I did notice the lack of replays though. I've never seen a broadcast more interested in showing players between plays as they run to and from the sidelines. Most other broadcasts I watch feel that's a good time to show replays. Go figure.

Tony's opening sequence was almost enough for me to hit mute though. Villain indeed. Even my 15 year old son mentioned he expected to see them don Bill Belichick in Darth Vader's suit. By the way, Tony mentioned every dynasty needed a villain. For the Ming Dynasty who was the villiain? And his comment that we can't hate Tom Brady because he's too cute? OMG!

The thing I hate most about Tony is the way he always talks for athletes and makes them have dreams and desires I am sure they DO NOT have. His spiel last night was how Boeller had re-signed for a one year contract with the Ravens and now he had a chance to do something great by beating the Pats. Something great? Winning a regular season football game does not make one great. Even if it is an undefeated team. In fact winning a Superbowl does not make you great. Since Tony took the time to look up the Ming Dynasty maybe he should have researched people who had done great things in their lives. People like Ghandi and Mother Theresa come to mind. Or course if a skinny balding man beat the Patriots that would be great so of course it would be great for another pro athlete who has always been a top athlete at every level he's played at.

Broadcast Highlight: Anyone notice that Brian Billick is actually Bill Belichick and that he has been a coach of the Patriots for the last 8 years? That was news to me.

Week 12 Patriots\Ravens Preview

It should be a huge audience tonight for this game. No one wants to miss the game the Patriots lose. Just like no one want to miss a part of seeing them run the table. They are up against a team who has tasted greatness this decade, with a 2000 Superbowl, and rests is laurels on a strong defense quarterbacked by one of the strongest personalities to ever play the game in Ray Lewis. There should be enough football headlines to fill 60 minutes of football right?

I can't even imagine how bad this broadcast is going to be tonight!

For starters Jaws has gotten so annoying as this season has progressed. He reminds me of the character, played by Steve Martin, in Planes Trains and Automobiles when he freaks out on John Candy's character and pretends John is a pull doll. Pull - Blah.... Pull - Blah.... - Pull - Blah... I am not sure why this image came to my mind but it just seems to me that Jaws is like a high school nerd who has hit the big time but still can't shake his nerdiness.

And Tony.... don't even get me started on Tony. After a weekend of watching football and having the broadcasters actually treat the games as - GASP - football games I so dread having to hear the utter nonsense that pours nonstop out of Tony's mouth. I almost regret starting this blog because it means I have to pay attention to what those clowns are saying so I can bash them on Tuesday.

My only hope is that with the Pats playing some ESPN executive will actually decide to watch the broadcast and it will suddenly hit him "This Sucks!!" and he will actually do something about it.